Monthly Archives: August 2010
“We can never get enough of what we don’t need, because what we don’t need won’t satisfy us.” -Dallin H. Oaks.
I should write this on my debit card in black sharpie. I want to print it out a few times and stick it on my fridge, my laptop, and on the ceiling above my bed. Maybe I’ll hire a blimp to parade it across the sky over a shopping center.
We spend so much time engaging in retail therapy, working hard to pay for stuff we don’t need because we hope that finally, this outfit, this gadget, this book will solve all our problems. Maybe we don’t expect that of everything we buy, but when we whip out that credit card, we’re seeking that adrenalin rush that come with novelty, a new thing, but when the buzz wears off, we’re in the same place we were before and a few dollars poorer. Unsatisfied, we seek the next buzz.
I’m as guilty as any, but lately these words echo in my mind like my personal Jedi Master whenever I see some sparkly something that promises to solve my problems. Do I need this? Will this satisfy me? Will I still want this tomorrow, in a week, or next year?
If not, walk away and call a friend. Write a story. Go for a walk. Seek the things that truly fill us, and we’ll never need the fluff.
A school counselor recommended the Intuitive Eating book to me in October 2008 after I’d appeared in her office, yet again struggling with restrictive eating and self-hatred that tainted everything I did.
So I bought the book and read it. I read it again like I was reading the final Harry Potter book, and my mind opened to the novel idea that I could actually rely on my body to tell me what it needs. I was intrigued, but at first I treated it like every other diet book, with the same obsessive hope “This is the one. This one will set me free.” So I threw myself a little donut and cheesecake party, followed by a Reese’s and Lucky Charms party that lasted a few months and I got frustrated that things weren’t happening just as the book said they would. Wasn’t my initial experimentation with forbidden food supposed to taper off, then shrink to a minimum while I intuitively chose to eat salad and oatmeal? After about a year and a half, I realized Intuitive eating is not a linear process. I know the book mentioned that somewhere, but my brain just said “yeah yeah, whatever, now get to the part where I don’t diet anymore and I still lose weight.”
I’ve “started over” a bunch of times, because took me awhile to let go of the dieting mindset and make peace with food, and I still struggle, but finally I learned that IE is more to me than learning how to eat again. It created a spiderweb affect in my mind, connecting to a hundred other things I needed to deal with that I had no idea were there, such as my issues with fear and anxiety, my deep-seated self-esteem issues, my resistance to change and my inability to let go.
IE was the first domino that set me on my journey of putting myself back together and building myself up, thinking for myself and learning who I really am. It was the first step in learning to love myself and my body the way I am. I haven’t gotten any smaller since starting IE, and I never weigh myself, but weight doesn’t matter that much to me anymore. IE was the beginning of my new life, because I learned that I can trust myself and that change is in my own hands.
Have you ever had a turning point like this in your life? I’d love to hear about it.
I’m McKella: a wife, writer, and perpetual changer of hobbies. I have dozens of interests that I cycle through regularly, but I’m most interested in creating a life that is truly mine, where I’m my authentic self and I live with passion. What does this mean to me?
Authentic: Celebrating my real personality, my real body, and my real soul free from pressures and restrictions of society, like dieting, conventional health guidelines, consumerism, school, traditional “jobs” and a linear career path. Too much of my life I’ve wasted trying to fit into a mold, but finally I’ve decided to say “Screw it” because I know never will. It’s time to peel back the layers of social constraints and live the life I was meant to have.
Passion: I want to learn and create without inhibitions, to feel no fear of trying new things or feeling that I must be perfect or correct to be validated in my activities. I want to dive headfirst into the things that give me joy and to have the courage to seek them out.
I want you to live your authentic life too. Everyone deserves a life that’s joyful and fulfilling, so as I create my life, I’ll share with you my discoveries to help you along your own path. What will you find here?
Unschooling and organic learning
Happiness and emotions
Unjobbing and fulfilling work
Frugality, minimalism, and simplicity
And other things I stumble upon.
This is the handprint I want to leave on the world, to help people learn to create their own happiness.
So, I bring you Handprint Soul.
It’s going to be an awesome ride.