Letter to my 13-year-old self

Dear self,

That number on the scale seems like the most important thing in the world right now. I know how you feel, like no one likes you, and no boy will ever want you because you don’t look like that swimsuit model in the Newport News catalogs. I know how you dream about dropping the weight over the summer and coming back to school a tan and skinny version of you that looks nothing like you. I know how those visions of the girl you’ll never be taunt you, the skinny legs, the tan, the flat tummy and cute clothes. I know these things consume you and you truly believe that if you could just lose those 30 or 40 pounds, you’re life will change and you’ll never feel unwanted again. I’m also here to tell you that this doesn’t last forever. It won’t even last very long.

This will take you a while to learn, but you’re beautiful. Kids your age don’t understand you, but you’re incredibly talented and you could do amazing things if you would stop worrying about your thighs. You’ll perform on a stage, yes, heavy but you’ll love it so much, and you’ll go on dates and attend college and pursue your dream of becoming a writer, and yes, a wonderful man will fall in love with you and marry you. I won’t lie and say that everything will be perfect because life isn’t like that, but the day will come when you’ll throw the scale away and learn your own worth. It’s not 185. It’s not 152. It’s not even the magic 130.

Your worth is the love you have in your heart for your husband and your family and friends, it’s in the things you accomplish and create and the adventures you have. You worth is God’s love for you, and the love of your family. The next decade or so will be a little rough, but you’ll come out all right and you’ll feel that joy and beauty that at the moment you feel will only come from losing weight.

Love your body, be healthy. Enjoy being the person you are and don’t worry about what you think people think about you right now, because junior high doesn’t last forever.

Love forever, your 22 year old self.

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Posted on September 12, 2010, in Body image and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. McKella, this is absolutely beautiful. Very, very touching. “Enjoy being the person you are” – such a simple, powerful statement!

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