Looking forward, living now

Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought “If only I could look like I did in high school…” or “I was happy when…”

I love to remember. I’ve kept journals for years and my entire life is documented in carefully crafted scrapbooks created by either me or my mother, and I look at them often. I reminisce about how great life was back then and how hard it is now. I’ve always thought that way, even during those times upon which I now remember with fondness. In the future, I’ll probably look back on my current life and think “Those were the days. Life sucks now.”

Part of living authentically is to accept you current self instead of longing for another time or place; your body the way it is now. Your living situation today. This doesn’t mean you’re life is perfect now or that you can change or improve. It means to learn to be happy now instead of waiting for things to change or for a time to return.

Even though I love my body the way it is, I still look at pictures of myself when I was 19 and think “I felt so great at that weight. I want to feel like that again.”

I have a lot in common with this girl, but I don’t think like she did. My body doesn’t look the same. I just retired that tank top because I wore the crud. I still climb trees, but this girl is my past.

This girl is my present. I probably look exactly the same to you, but I see a huge difference. Different struggles, experiences, two years married and 20 pounds heavier.

Work with what you have now. Be your best now, because what worked for you last year may not work today. You may not be the same person you were in college. I’ll never be the girl in the first picture again, but that’s ok. I’m just as great as she was, and I’m only getting better.

Learn from the past, but look to the future and focus on now. These are the good old days.



Posted on September 25, 2010, in Authenticity, Body image, Happiness and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. “Part of living authentically is to accept you current self instead of longing for another time or place”–

    You are wise beyond your years! That is so profound, so true!

    I love the photos of you, the new one, I can just see the life and happiness and twinkle in your eyes…2 yrs married, wow, congrats! I am on almost 10.


  2. What a wonderful point of view.

    My biggest problem wasn’t how good things were in the past, but how good they would be in the future–once I did X. (Lose 100 pounds, get my degree, move to a new place, get a new job/career, get married–all those checklist things I thought would make me happy and fulfilled.) Ultimately, I think my problem is the same–I’m not taking advantage of my life right now and instead am living in my head hoping some fantasy will take the perceived sting out of my life.

  3. This post is very true! 🙂

    It’s amazing when you get to that point that you start accepting NOW. Everything is more interesting, less stressful ect. Its when you are able to do this that you release all of your excess baggage and stop living in inside your mind.

    I find myself nowadays telling myself repeatedly . .

  4. Just don’t let rose colored glasses and hindsight help you forget how crappy things could be back then too. That’s the thing about living in the now it’s healthy but you tend to long for easier times when really you have struggles all your life on different levels.

    For example sure you’re heavier now but would you really wanna go through puberty again?

    Sure I’m balding now but at least my acne isn’t as bad.

    pretty good philosophical waxing though MK.

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