Learning and Letting Go {Self-Discovery, Word-by-Word}

Life is a series of changes, but I’ve always had a hard time accepting that and it tends to get me into trouble. I don’t like taking risks and whenever I have something good, I’m terrified of losing it, but I think most people are like that. The seasons of life come and go, bringing new lessons and opportunities with them, but they pass just as quickly to make way for the new lessons. This is how we learn and grow.

I think an inability to gracefully deal with change is the root of the depression and anxiety I’ve experienced. It all started when my life did a 180 in a single year and left my head spinning for years after. In one year, I left a toxic relationship of two years, changed my major, changed jobs, got engaged to my friend of four years, went on birth control, moved out of my parent’s house, got married, changed jobs again, moved, and changed jobs again, and started my upper-division coursework. Whew! That’s a lot for anyone to experience it, but should I still be reeling from it years later? Shouldn’t I have gotten used to it by now?

Another change I’ve had a hard time letting go of is my experience with theater in high school. I had a tight-knit group of friends whom I worked with in a creative environment, and I thrived in that situation. I was so happy in high school even though I had my fair share of boy problems and homework related stress. I haven’t been in a show since and I barely see my old friends. I graduated five years ago, I should definitely be over that, right?

How about graduating college, changing homes and jobs twice in the last year, and experiencing health problems for the first time in my life? Ok, that one I’m still dealing with, the loss of my student-status and of being around like-minded people all day, having that cushion of school to protect me from having to be a grownup. This one takes everyone awhile, but no reason to be upset, right?

The thing is, all of these changes brought with them lessons that I needed to learn, so if I’m still struggling with them, I obviously haven’t learned the lessons, have I? Instead of staying stuck in the past, why not examine each situation for what it had to teach me and move on? Learn to be a grownup. Seek out that tight-knit, creative environment I had in high school because it was obviously good for me. Learn what I really want to do with life so I’m not stuck in the throws of graduate depression forever.

Change never stops; the lessons never stop. Live each season as it passes; grow from each one. That’s the beauty of life; it’s never stagnant, even when it feels like you’re not progressing. Something will change either on it’s own or because of a choice you make. Life, like people, is always dynamic and evolving. Learn, let go, and enjoy the ride.

This post was written as part of the Self-Discovery, Word by Word series. This month’s series is hosted by Mara Glatzel at Medicinal Marzipan, who has chosen the word CHANGE. Please go check out the details and take part!

Have you experienced any difficult change lately? 

Posted on April 20, 2011, in Happiness, Learning, Stress and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Kellyn Peterson Spear

    Kella, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s still not over losing that high school theater experience. I’m still taking theater classes at Weber State, but I’m by no means as involved in it as I wish I could be. I see the tightly-knit groups of friends who are heavily involved in the department and it just makes me violently miss being a part of that.
    The bright side, though, is that a lot of the changes I get sad about are the ones that brought around the parts of my life I love the most. It’s just too bad you have to let go of so much to bring around the wonderful new changes.
    I miss you!!

    • Isn’t it like a gaping hole in your heart? Whenever we all get together, it’s like it always was but something’s still missing. We all need to come up with a way to remedy this…

      • Kellyn Peterson Spear

        Maybe the next time we all get together we need to sit in a circle around an open container of mod podge, slowly getting more and more loopy and not realizing why…

  2. Hey there! I just found your blog and I look forward to reading 🙂

  3. I love what you’ve written! I’m definitely struggling with major change and decisions and it’s sooooooo hard. And scary. But we all make it though, right?

  1. Pingback: Self-Discovery Word by Word: CHANGE Round-up | Medicinal Marzipan

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