A Different Kind of Self-Care

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Today, I get to do something that would’ve made me cry a month or two ago.

I get to go back to work full-time.  

After a few months of really choppy income and lots of stress, we’ve decided that I need to be the main breadwinner so that Sam can focus on his (very intense) schoolwork.

I resisted this idea at first. I need time to make art and promote myself! I barely have enough energy to work part-time and do laundry! At first, I felt like a failure and a sell-out for choosing financial stability over extra time to dedicate to my art. 

I took some time to think about it, and I realized that this is one of the most caring things I can do for myself right now.

The truth is, I really enjoy my job. It’s actually something related to my degree, I’m good at it and I feel appreciated there. It pays better than any other  job I’ve had and it’s quite laid-back.

With me working full-time, Sam can take the most intense weeks of school off.  We’ll be able to afford healthier food, and I can buy the supplements that help my anxiety and winter blues. With benefits, I can keep up on my doctor, optometrist, and dental check-ups.

Most importantly, this will take care of A LOT of our overall stress, and that means more mental energy to dedicate to my art and writing. Security is a huge factor in my emotional health, and the stress of being financially strapped far outweighs the stress of a busier schedule.

I see this as a huge act of self-care. Yes, I’ll have to adjust my routines and learn to juggle a busier work schedule with artmaking and self-care, but the peace I feel inside tells me that it will work out.

Self-care isn’t always what it seems.

I’m thankful that this opportunity presented itself when we needed it, and it galvanized my belief that life (or God, the Universe, whatever) has a way of providing for us, even if it doesn’t seem like what we want at the time. Things work out.

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Posted on January 11, 2012, in Stress and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Love this Kella. It was hard for me to do this as well a few years back, but the truth is, I’m happy and I love what I do, and Guy had the opportunity to learn to nurture me, and the kids, and we are all better for it…

  2. This is really great? I applaud your honesty and truth and I I can feel the sense of peace this decision has brought you. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Great perspective. Energy for creativity is a very fluid thing. I, like you, sometimes think my art needs time — time is the only solution. But, of equal importance is energy. With good energy, our 24 hours are used much differently. So this opportunity of yours to remove some of the energy-consuming stress from your life may result in being able to give more to your art. I hope so, anyway! Good luck and thanks for sharing.

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