It’s been awhile…
This is by far the longest hiatus I’ve taken from my beloved blog. It’s been over two months since I last posted. Two months! And what a two months.
I honestly wasn’t sure if I would come back or if it was time to move on. Another website is still in the works. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, journaling, and reading. I helped my family move away from the house I grew up in where my parents lived for almost 20 years and into a new home and a new start. I’ve been working a lot and keeping our little home running while my husband spends his life at school (no joke. Sometimes he comes home at three or four in the morning or even stays the night in the computer lab). I’ve been spending time with my friends and family, and I’ve even been taking ballet lessons!
Most of what I’ve been doing is contemplating. What do I want from my life? What do I want from my career? How can I get there? Who am I, and how can I create a life and career based on Who I Am?
I’ve asked myself these questions before, and I’m sure I will again. Everyone has to answer these questions for herself at some point, many times over.
That picture is becoming clearer in my head and I’m realizing that I need to spend less time planning and worrying, forcing, fighting, worrying about what other people want from me, and comparing myself to others and more time listening, trusting, and keeping my mind wide open and ready to receive any answers that come my way. My path has always been revealed to me when I’m ready for it and it’s easier to follow it when I trust that guidance instead of questioning it.
Several times over the past few days, the fact that my Etsy shop is empty at the moment and my blog is a ghost town has hit me hard. I’m still having plenty of insight for my own life and I’m well aware that others may need those insights, but they haven’t been making it out of my journal because I haven’t been blogging. I’ve been making art here an there, experimenting, but I don’t have a way to share it with people. I post a few pictures on Facebook, but that only gets so far. As I walked to work this morning, I thought about my poor lonely blog again. Yes, I plan to move this operation over to the new site when it’s ready, but does that mean I should stay silent in the meantime? I don’t plan to stay on Etsy for long, but does that mean I should completely close up shop?
Who knows. I’ve been running into lots of career-related snags which has gotten me into quite a mess of discouragement and I hit another one of those today. In the past, I’ve let it bother me and fester until I get so caught in my fear that I can’t move forward. Today I realized that if I want a different result, I need to have a different attitude. Instead of getting stuck, I acknowledged that this hangup is just one door closing so another can open. It’s a signpost, not a barrier. So instead of stressing out, I drew myself a hot bath and decided to listen for awhile and see if anything came to me.
Though I didn’t come up with a solution for that particular bump, I did get a very distinct message: Blog.
So here I am. I’ve dearly missed this outlet and all of my readers, so I will keep this blog going until it’s ready to move. My journals don’t feel quite complete unless I type up those entries and polish them to show to you. The insights and experiences I record for my future use and to work out my own thoughts don’t just belong to me. Those ideas are for you as well.
It’s good to be back! Let’s pick up where we left off. I’ll post when the urge comes to me and we’ll ease back into this. I’ve missed you all!