I’ve wanted to be a lot of things in my life. I’m interested in a lot of things. Even though I’ve always planned on being an artist and a writer, I’ve also seriously considered going into theatrical set design, archaeology, teaching, horse breeding, nutritional counseling, and art therapy.
The other day, Sam and I were sitting at an outdoor table sharing wings and mozzarella sticks, and we started talking about talents and abilities that we each had. It actually started by comparing his super-sensitive taste buds to my ears. Sam can taste things that I can’t, and I have some crazy-sensitive ears. For me, any sort of squeaky, scraping sound practically causes seizures, but I can also hear things in music that Sam can’t. He likes to play songs I’ve never heard to see if I can guess the band (if I’ve heard of the band, I can usually tell). I can’t remember the words of most songs, but I can remember obscure little beats and entire guitar solos. I hear music in a very visual way, if that makes sense. I could probably sculpt or draw the sounds. One of my favorite things to do in junior high was to listen to a song over and over and draw it.
I’ve taken voice and piano lessons and I’ve played with composing, but I’ve never really done much with music. As we ate our lunch that day, Sam asked “Why aren’t you in the music industry?”
I just shrugged. I love music, but I don’t know what I’d do with it. I also love animals and could happily be with them every day, but I don’t know what I’d do with that either.
Sam’s kind of the same way. He’s a man of many talents and he likes to experiment, but like me, he’s has a hard time settling on one career. He’s also dabbled in set design and engineering, but he’s also a web designer and he’s going to school for 3-D animation. He’s draws and he loves film, and he loves creating props for haunted houses. Someday he might open a creature shop and make puppetry-assisted animatronics for haunted houses and movies.
It’s hard to juggle so many interests. One things that I love about art and writing though, is that I can use them to cover all my other interests. I can write about anything, paint anything, learn about anything and let it show up in my creative. Everything I do, see, love, and dream about feeds my art and writing. Even though I’ve checked out plenty of different paths, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Though someday I’d love to go back to music lessons, I’d love to spend more time with animals, and I still think there’s plenty to be explored in my other interests. Those interests are there for a reason. I used to get frustrated that there’s only one of me and that I couldn’t do everything I want to do, but it doesn’t bother me much anymore.
I watch Sam juggle his different interests and ambitions, and I noticed that he doesn’t stress out about it. He doesn’t seem to worry that there isn’t enough time or that he’s doing the wrong thing. He just has a good time with it.
I guess that’s the best thing to do when you feel like your choices and passions are overwhelming. Just have fun with it. Let it feed you.
As far as I know, my husband Sam doesn’t usually read my blog, but maybe he will today. I debated about what to write for a special Valentine’s Day post, and I remembered that day years ago when I came home to find a typed list taped to the apartment door of things Sam loves about me.
Since I don’t get along with our printer very well, I’m going to make him a list here, and feel free to comment about what you love about your significant other as well!
- I love that he makes jokes and ends up cracking himself up. It’s hilarious when he makes himself laugh.
- If I have a craving at work, all I have to do is text him and I’ll have a treat on my desk within 30 minutes. This is a nifty “magic trick” that really impresses the other girls at work.
- He lets me have a cat even though he hates having a litter box in the bathroom and a layer of cat hair on everything we own.
- He loves to watch Jim Henson shows with me.
- He gets my weirdo sense of humor.
- He’s always up for an adventure, even when I’m not.
- He makes sure that I loosen up and have fun when I’m so wrapped up in my responsibilities that I forget to breathe.
- He’ll make grocery runs or start dinner so I can come straight home after work and have dinner ready.
- I get a massage whenever I want one.
- He ALWAYS opens my door.
- If we share a dessert or appetizer, he always gives me the last bite.
- He balances my panicky tendencies with his “go with the flow” attitude.
- He never fails to make me laugh.
- He’s the most generous person I know.
- When I want to throw my computer out the window, he’s always there to fix it.
- He always drives so I don’t have to. I don’t really like to drive.
- We met when I was 15, and he saw through the awkwardness and shyness. We’ve been best friends ever since 🙂
I hope that wasn’t nauseating for anyone.
Tell your significant other what you love about them today. If you’re single, tell the mirror. 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Three years ago today, I married this guy:
Absolutely perfect, gorgeous spring day just like this one. It’s been quite an interesting three years!
I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned about marriage over the last couple years, because marriage is a huge learning process.
1-First and foremost, you are best friends. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in “grown-up stuff” like bills, jobs, and whose turn it is to do the dishes. Sometimes, you might feel more like domestic partners than a married couple. Remember, this person is your best friend. Would you snap at your best friend for that? Wouldn’t you want to have fun with your best friend? Shouldn’t your be silly and yourself around your best friend? Worry about the other stuff later, but marriage is supposed to be fun. Yes, it’s work but that doesn’t mean it’s a chore. Work can be fun, marriage should be fun!
2-Know your needs. I’ll just be straight about this: girls need affection and sweet talk, guys need sex. Both equally important needs. Make sure you both understand this, and your lives will be so much easier, I promise.
3-Communicate, communicate, communicate. The numero uno priority! Talk all the time. Talk about what you’re thinking, what you want, what’s bothering you, what you need, what you like, what you dream about, what you plan together, your goals, everything! Talk talk talk! If you don’t communicate, you’ll never understand each other and understanding is a BIG deal! Talk about everything. Don’t hold anything in (don’t be tactless either). The other half of communicating is listening. Listen to what your spouse has to say, and listen when they aren’t talking either. I don’t mean reading into things that aren’t there, because let’s face it, guys are pretty straight forward and they don’t try to encrypt things. Also, listen to your own thoughts. Don’t hold them in for so long that you dont’ recognize them anymore. Know yourself, know your spouse, talk about it!
So there you have it: McKella’s marriage advice in a nutshell. If you have anything to add, let me know in the comments!