The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.
There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.
There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.
We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith.
We have enough greed; we need more goodness.
We have enough vanity; we need more virtue.
We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
-Margaret D. Nadauld
I love quotes like these when I feel emotional or inadequate in some way because I’m not “tough”. What does being a woman mean to you?
This week one of my favorite blogs in the whole wide world, Roots of She, challenged women everywhere to write about female relationships. Honestly, I can’t say I’ve thought too much about it, but relationships between women are super complicated and often laced with aggression on some level.
How often have you bashed a friend’s clothing choice behind her back? How many time have you heard a girl say “I hate girls. I like my guy friends so much better.” Have you ever said that yourself? Have you ever openly disliked a celebrity or even someone you know because she’s skinny (she needs to eat a freaking sandwich!) or because she’s “slutty” ? Have you ever told a guy to “stop being such a girl” when he’s whiney or sensitive?
I’ve done some of those things too.
Roots of She also posted an amazing article about aggression between women and how it occurs because women aren’t taught the skills for handling conflict properly because anger and confrontation aren’t “ladylike”. Instead of working things out, we backstab each other. We compete. We compare ourselves. We pass judgment based on appearances. We hold grudges. Is that any way to treat our sisters?
Roots of She presented the following three questions for us to answer. If you have a blog, I invite you to copy and paste them and write about them yourself. If you don’t, copy and paste into the comments and answer there. I think all women should think about this, because Mean Girls style cattiness is no way to feel empowered as women.
- What is it that you most desire in your connections with other women?
- If you knew it were possible to create the kinds of relationships between and among women that you really want to see in the world, what qualities would those relationships have?
- What’s the most tender, vulnerable thing you could ask for?